I sat on my oversized couch, curled up with my daughter, looking at old family photos. Giggling at the clothes and the funny things being done, when she asked about my firefighting days. Memories flooded in. Then questions about truck driving. It hit me like a load of bricks. How many different circles we run in. I have lived in many places but it our jobs and our likes that draws us into these circles. There are so many circles that I will never be in, like famous people, or welders, or astronauts. Now, with the internet, the circles get broader and we start to dipping our toes into different ponds. Tweeting with famous people or researching the new possibilities of space travel but we still stick to the circles we love, family and friends.I love to learn new things and have been "hooked" on the internet since 1996 when I found money in a parking lot (after waiting the allotted 30 day claim period). But that will be another story.
I paid for a full year and soon I was checking out games and answering calls from all the friends who were stumped on trivia questions. The internet has been my link to the outside world. I had 4 young children and lived far out in the country so friends hardly stopped by and loading 4 kids in the car was a monumental task. After much research, I developed plans for a coffee shop .A place where one could swing by and grab a packed homemade lunch while grabbing your coffee. Then at night it would turn into a hangout place for teens. With board game nights and having special guests stopping by to help teens find guidance and confidence, I was so excited. An adventure for me, to help others and show my kids that it takes a society to raise kids not just a mom and/or dad. Because of living in the country, teens were bored, and soon trouble followed. I had my proposal all ready to show my husband, full of pride and independence. It took only one sentence to sink my heart. Do you want your children to feel as abandoned as you did? Gone....my dream balloon went fizzing through the air and out of sight. I still tear up over this.
So I vowed that no one would ever stop me again!!! I soon found that I could make it in many worlds. Single mother of 4, full time job managing the family business, firefighting, emt, soccer mom, and even treasurer of a bowling league, handling all at once. I wanted my children to see that if you want it bad enough, you can do it. Children will follow your example.
Now I sit on the edge of another world, a place that asks me to give up everything I know and familiar with. My heart races in excitement at the thought of moving but then that voice that crops up way back in my head saying ... abandoning again? But I have decided to send the ninjas in my head to kick the crap out of that voice!!!!
I started writing my book....
This is a novel of normality...Of the mondaine, the ordinary.
What makes me; me. But it also makes you extraodinary.
Chapter One
Breathe: to draw air into and expel it from the lungs : respire;broadly : to take in oxygen and give
out carbon dioxide through natural processes
Breathing is so underrated . I say this because of the moments in life that seem to make that just stop ... Effortless and profound. Now that does not mean that good things are "about to happening" But even in the most horrible moments, your breathe is taken away. It is a beginning to a new path. A choice. Where to go from here? Where your true colors show?
Funny thing is I am looking down, after dying my daughters hair... My hands are stained . I work at a job where appearance is very important. Judged right away. My hands are stained dark brown... Yet all I think is ... I am so glad and honored that my teenaged daughter trusted me enough that I could do it... And that I actually got to spend time with her, just her and me. It is these simple moments that make me so proud... Not the goals or the expensive prom dress... But the fact that she trusts me with her looks and believes in me too.
I don't know where this life is taking me but the dusty path behind has quite a few tales I would like to share.
